3 annotations for portfolio 2

Overall Reflection Annotation
The starting point to choosing a topic was smooth sailing; I knew right away that I wanted to use the image of Cinderella. The next part for me was a little tricky. This topic, surprisingly, could go in many different directions. I had so many different ways that I wanted to take my research paper, and had a hard time really condensing it to one topic. Different handouts, such as the library sheet, helped me really narrow down my topic through answering many questions of how I was going to approach this paper. Getting handouts in class for the overall organization and structure of the paper really put me on the path to what I was going to focus on. This is one very useful tool that I know I will use for other research papers; because I know I will run into the same problem in the near future. I have saved these handouts to use for future classes.
Doing the actual research for the paper was actually very helpful for me, as much as I was dreading actually doing the research. I learned about many different sources that eckerd provides on their website and learned many useful techniques to find the information that I was looking for. An example of this is what key words to type on Proect Muse so I get exactly what I need.

Research Reflection Annotation
When I was researching for my paper, I not only got the information that I was looking for, but also started to really learn how I should go about researching. I learned about many links that are provided by the Eckerd Library such as Proect Muse. With this I also learned useful techniques on how to search on these websites; for example, what key words are appropriate to finding the information that will be most useful. What I have learned during the research portion of this project are tools that I will take with me in doing future research papers.

Essay Reflection Annotation
There were two main learning elements for me while writing this research paper. These include, learning to actually research for the paper and using the worksheet tools provided in class, and also actually learning about the story of Cinderella and the influence of women in both the 1700's and today. I used the knowledge of learning to research through tools given by the librarian and the instructor of the class. Learning these tools were so useful for me and I will use them in some way for every research paper that will come in my future.

Drafting Plan

This week I am going to really just start writing, putting all my thoughts out their through a draft. I will do this while also looking at various sources that I have found that will really help guide me through my draft. I will also guide myself through the ideas that I put together for my essay in my introduction. I will basically just type out a draft without over thinking, or analyzing, just to get everything that I have out there. I will then go back and really re-read, edit, record myself and edit. And really shape my draft into something I like. I will put time into this draft every day.

Tuesday Class

There was a review on the two outlines, Bartholomae and Elbow ways of writing an essay. Start thinking about actual drafting the essay which should focus on organization. This is the time to think how we will organize our essay. One idea is to complete an outline. Outlines are methods or structures to organize thoughts and arguments. Different methods of oulining like Roman Numeral Method (topic, support, evidence, free write outline (list various areas and free write about them, about not being invested), think about the main idea, evidence, analysis, link to next sentence (intro: who, what, where, when why, and then using the meal idea-main idea, evaluate, analysis, link to next sentence), method of oulining based on telling and showing (tell-your observations, show-use evidence to support that evidence. each paragraph should have 3-4 of both).

3 sources with annotations

1.
Cinderella Cinde. Wikipedia, 30 Oct. 2009. Web. 3 Nov. 2009 .

There have been many versions of Cinderella made into books, movies, cartoons, musicals, ballets, operahs, etc., this tale has been a part of our culture since the earliest citing in the first century BC. With this the story has changed dramatically over time. I will be looking at the changes and will be pondering over why did this one tale change so much.


2.
Gruner, Elizabeth R. Saving "Cinderella": History and Story in Ashpet and Ever After Hollins University, 2003. Web. Projec t Muse. Eckerd College. 6 Nov. 2009 .

The original story of Cinderella did not look as preety as the story we know today by Walt Disney; the story has been warped over time. This source will enable me to look at the story from its earliest version and see how the story has changed so dramatically into the version created by Walt Disney.

3.
Gruner, Elizabeth R. Cinderella, Marie Antoinette, and Sara: Roles and Role Models in A Little Princess The Johns Hopkins University Press, 1998. Web. Projec t Muse. Eckerd College. 6 Nov. 2009 .

The character of Cinderella has changed from being a strong woman in Victorian versions to someone that is viewed as weak. I will be looking at why her characterstics have changed in this view and does it have to do with the two different societies.

Introduction to Paper

Cinderella, a Disney fairy tale that we have all grown to know and love. But, where did this story come from? Did Walt Disney create this story on his own? No, the majority of Disney stories were folk tale told many years ago; Cinderella happened to be one of the stories recorded by the Greek historian Strabo in the first century BC. There have been many twists and turns of this story through out the many years Cinderella has been told, and the story we know today has a completely new identity. But, the question is why did this story change so dramatically over time? One reason could be due to the change of views in woman; we have come along way in the respect that woman deserve, but we are not perfect and still have a ways to go.

3 new sources for my topic

1.
Wood, Naomi. Domesticating Dreams in Walt Disney's Cinderella The Johns Hopkins University Press, 1996. Web. Projec t Muse. Eckerd College. 6 Nov. 2009 .

2.
Gruner, Elizabeth R. Saving "Cinderella": History and Story in Ashpet and Ever After Hollins University, 2003. Web. Projec t Muse. Eckerd College. 6 Nov. 2009 .

3.
Gruner, Elizabeth R. Cinderella, Marie Antoinette, and Sara: Roles and Role Models in A Little Princess The Johns Hopkins University Press, 1998. Web. Projec t Muse. Eckerd College. 6 Nov. 2009 .

abstract planning

Context

I will explore the story of Cinderella, how this story originated, and how it was changed to the story we all know and love today. I will see if the way woman were percieved back then and now had anything to do with the change of the story.

Problem

The problem is looking at Cinderella and the way she is seen through the eyes of little girls. All little girls want to be like her; she is a beautiful princess, who is thin, with blonde hair, blue eyes, and wins over the Prince. The problem is does this cause a negative effect on little girls today.

Launching Point

The story of Cinderella has changed dramatically. How could this one story change so much over the years? The impact of society today could be a possible reason for this and how woman are seen to be today.

six sources about my topic

1. Cinderella Cinde. Wikipedia, 30 Oct. 2009. Web. 3 Nov. 2009 .

2. Kennedy, Elizabeth. Childrens Books Cinde. About.com, n.d. Web. 3 Nov. 2009 .

3. Waters, Jen. Cinderella: Biography of an archetype; Enchantment of fairy tale spans centuries Cinde. The Washington Times, 31 May 2003. Web. 3 Nov. 2009 .

4. Cinderella Cinde. Princess Magic, n.d. Web. 3 Nov. 2009 .

5. Perrault, Charles. Lierature: Cinderella Stories Cinde. College of Education, 23 June 2007. Web. 3 Nov. 2009 .

6. Cinderella Folk Tales: Variations in Plot and Setting Cinde. EDsitement, 20 Aug. 2002. Web. 3 Nov. 2009 .

this is how we dream

In our world today it is so quick to post information and to recieve that information. It is so easy to get any books like using Amazon. com. Our work space that we use is within our computer and there are so many resources of information on that one computer to find; you do not need to open a book or go to a library anymore it is all on your one single computer. The impact of having different media ways in such a fast way have changed our world greatly with voting polls, and ways that effect people closely. So many people can see so many videos online and compose many information where people can actually see, hear, or read many things that happen. Now we all share information and how we need to share information freely and have come together as a society and now we can learn to produce new methods for people to get this information. Now, he sees that people in the future will start to really use the media and new programs to present information instead of word documents. He speaks about what we need for the future to really create a world that has improved its ways of communication through the media and to really make such a progression.

Rose

The reading on Rose was very interesting. I found that I could really relate to what he was talking about and he wrote in a tone of voice where I really felt like he wanted to connect with the given audience. It was really refreshing reading about what he went through during ages that I can really relate to now; he wrote in a way that was really relatable. The way he spoke about his teachers and what he went through was really interesting to read about; I really loved reading about the struggles that someone else went through. From this reading I found it to be very helpful in bettering my life from hearing someone elses perspective and hearing about someone elses life. It was really nice how he let the reader know that they are not alone in the struggles that they go through; and more particularly for me it was really nice to know other people struggle too. Some of the points that he spoke about like not wanting to go to college classes and the consequences was very helpful and a push for me because sometimes I have a hard time seeing how what I do will effect the rest of my life even though I know this is a true fact. So, overall this reading was very helpful for me.

images

Piece on Yancey

This piece is a chart broken into different sections that are focused on the structure of a portfolio. It gives the outline of what a portfolio is and what it is entailed to do in a very specific way. This chart also goes into who the target audience is of a particular piece and why that is so important. There is also a section that speaks about how important it is to cite a work when using someone elses launguage, thoughts, and ideas. This work by Yancey also goes into what a portfolio should overall look like when it is presented to the grader. Yancey goes into what an electronic portfolio looks like and how this portfolio is put together; she also gives ideas on what makes a better electronic portfolio.
For me reading this piece was very interesting, especially when it came to showing what an electronic portfolio looks like. This was so interesting to me because I have never done a project like this before and to see how it is done really amazed me. I loved how organized, put together, and how much time it looked like the composer spent on putting the portfolio together. I also got good information from reading this about ideas for my own portfolio.

9 Characteristics of Portfolios

9 Characteristics of Portfolios
1. Collection-showcases the portfolios validity, range of portfolios engaged
2. Range-ability to use different genres and shows off different expertise. The categories are expressionism, literary, referential, and persuasion.
3. Context Richness- assumes that writers brings their experiences in the form of writing into the assignment.
4. Delayed Evaluation-can go back and revise your work and can do it over time.
5. Selection- allows you to think about what you want to present in the portfolio
6. Student Center Control- you are responsible for your own success
7. Reflection and Self Assessment- related to the annotations, forces you to return to your work and reflect, allows you to figure out what you need to develop and how you need to develop it
8. The Portfolio Allows for Specific Parameters- asks questions like have the writer grown as a writer
9. Development Over Time-over time and not over one time and it captures who you have become as a writer

James Kinneavy’s Aims of Discourse

James makes an outline for different types of writing. He starts off with three main categories situated in a triangle which are decoder, encoder, and reality. In the middle of this triangle is the word, style which encompasses all different types of writing such as: short story, novel, lyric, ballad, drama, and movie. This is saying that decoder, encoder, and reality can all be put in these different types of forms. Decoder being to make something of code into something interpretable. Encoder is then converting a message into code. Reality is something put in front of you that just is straight forward and makes complete sense. For example, a decoder piece of work may be Shakespeare, taking something that we don't clearly understand word for word and breaking it down in to what makes sense for us. An encoder piece would be taking a work that you write and creating a way of demonstrating this information without being clearly straight forward, one can do this through a poem, leaving the interpretation up to the reader. The third, reality would then be a book like Twilight that really anyone can read and where interpretation is not needed at all. He then goes to breaking down these three general categories down. He breaks encoder down to individual and social; which would then be putting a message into code for oneself or for other people around. He only gives one category for decoder which is persuasive since when you break something down it is persuaded from the symbolism that person intended to the symbolism you see in that work of writing. He breaks reality into three categories: exploratory, scientific, and informative. All these are not left up to interpretation. When you explore something you clearly write out what it is you see, science is very straight forward and never left up to interpretation, it is giving facts and what is found within research, and finally informative is being completely straight forward and saying something so clearly to an avoidance so as to give clear information. The chart that is laid out by James makes complete sense to me and I am able to clearly decipher it and clearly understand what he is trying to convey, especially in the form of a chart which is very clear, you could say the category of reality. But, I do think there are many other categories besides the three points on the triangle where you could display your writing in different styles.

Self Review of Paper

My essay has a continual focus to how I get my essay done. There is a theme and it progresses and transitions from one step to the next. It is very easy for the reader to come on my "writing process journey" with me, since I really take them through an example of this process. But, with this I could definetly analyze my process more rather than just really telling it to my audience and going into detail about it. My essay does stay clear on topic though with what happens during the writing process and is very organized on how I display my information. But, I do not really have a clear thesis to my essay and could go deeper than just saying what goes on during my writing process.

Take 20

This video was very interesting seeing the other perspective of what the teacher goes through when grading a paper. To see many different teachers speak about what they experience or have experienced as being a teacher. It was interesting seeing their "process" of giving feedback and grading essays. That doing this isn't easy for them. And that teachers really do care about their students and the success of their students. That they really have learned to think before really giving feedback, and also how they have learned and come up with many new strategies when coming up with feedback for the essays that are assigned. It was really cool seeing the enthusiasm and care that these teachers had for their students.

What my essay is doing and saying

• Paragraph one is acting hurried by saying how much I am in a rush to start my essay.
• Paragrah two is showing what I do before I begin my paper by saying how I am entering the Cafeteria.
• Paragraph three is showing what I do before I begin my paper by saying that I sit down with my friends and eat food.
• Paragraph four is descrbing the before process of writing once I get to my room by saying what I am doing before I begin my essay.
• Paragraph five is describing what must be done before I write my essay by saying that I need to organize myself before I begin.
• Paragraph six is the start of the essay by saying that I open up Microsoft Word and begin my paper by talking about self efficacy.
• Paragraph seven is when I get tired from writing and need a break by saying that I am tired and need to go outside and do other things before getting back to my essay.
• Paragraph eight is when I decide to get back to my essay by saying that I re-open Microsoft Word andmove on to my next paragraph on my NEO test.
• Paragraph nine is when I continue back and forth between my essays and breaks and when I finally finish my essay by saying that I finally am done at 2 in the morning and feel proud for my accomplishment.
• Paragrapg 10 is wrappin up why this process works for my by saying that I like how I form connections quickly during a short period of time.

Feedback from Buddy on My Writing Process

I agree with how my buddy said that my essay was choppy, needed more transitions, and just overall just needed to flow more. When I have a lot of ideas I tend to just spit them out on to my paper and really just free write and go with the thoughts that spark up in my head. I do this especially during the first draft when I do not go over my essay at all and am really just getting my thoughts onto paper. Ironically, this is really a part of my writing process. When I am writing down these thoughts they make sense to me because it is me trying to get out what goes on in my head onto paper, but I would imagine it would hard for others to understand what is really going on in my head, considering that is what I am putting on the sheet of paper.I also agree with the affirmations she gave me which is that I did go with a particular style for this paper to help engage the reader in my writing process. I did this through bringing the reader into my life of when I wrote a paper so they could really see my writing process first hand.I plan to go through my paper and try to make it clearer for the reader to truly understand what I am trying to convey. I plan to read my paper out loud several times during several different periods so I can really hear what I am writing and really clear up my paper. I plan to read my paper once every day this week until it is due to really hear the paper several times and each time after I read it I will clean it up until it sounds good for that day.I believe that if I approach my paper this way I can really make the most successful changes possible and will be able to really polish up my paper towards its due date. If I do this I will really be able to hear it with different “ears” considering it will be different days of me reworking it. And I do believe if I do this I will be successful in this essay.

The Persistence of Writing

The Persistence of Writing was a persepective taking of where writing is going today. Compared to years ago we have many new sources to get information from where people really don't need to sit down and write; but, where they can listen to audio tapes, etc. It is a discussion about why writing is so important and is talking about how writing really goes back to the basics, and takes it back to a book that was written in the late 1700's. They speak about how writing really is an isolated connection between a community work and one's own thoughts which then gets turned over to being shared with a community once again. It speaks of why it is so important that we keep up with writing and keep on learning how to share our thoughts through this basic, but sometimes difficult form.

Questions

1. Are people's writing abilities slowly digressing because of technology and new media ways of communicating?
2. Is our society as a whole afraid that America's writing ability is getting worse, so we are trying to be more proactive and create classes, like this one, to improve peoples writing once again?

Elbow/Bartholomae Exercise

Writing Process is the composition of writing. It is a development of writing and is continuous. There is usually a five step procedural method, which includes prewriting, draft, revision, editing, and evaluation. It is saying that writing is done through practice and is a never-ending process. We learn through writing, editing, and rewriting.
The writing process is similar to a forehand swing in tennis. There are steps to take when swinging the racket. This swing starts on either side of ones body, continues across the body to make contact with the ball, and ends at the opposite side of ones body. There are stance positions that will improve your stroke. This is similar to the writing process being that there is a procedural method; along with this the stance is the way you improve your writing.
When writing, I cannot do it all in one sitting. I write until I come to the point of becoming bored, or not really wanting to write. I then take a break, and come back to my writing. One effect is I spend a lot of time going back and forth to my writing, which takes up more time, than rather doing a whole piece of writing in one setting.
Peter Elbow speaks of the negative effects of writing in such a short period. He says that writing is a long process, and you can always improve your writing. Many times when I write essays I write them the night before and that is that. However, he says the best way to write is to spend time on your writing.

My writing style looks like the ice cream I eat in the café; it is chocolate ice cream in a cone. Whenever I get this, I have to eat my ice cream fast, but it always tastes good. When I write, I like to write in a short session right before the writing is due, and when I do I make many more connections and my writing comes out very good, just like the ice cream.
My writing is similar to construction workers building up a neighborhood in a short period. When they do this, they build many houses that are very usable for a family. This is similar to when I write being that I spend time writing during a specific given period and my writing gives light and use to other people.
Another analogy my writing can be compared to is buying a car. When someone has made up there mind to buy a specific car, they go to the dealer and pick out that “right” car for him or her. And the process of actually finding that right car is done in a short amount of time and the buyer leaves with a car that they love. This is similar to my writing process because once I have a topic in mind I can sit down for a relatively short period and shoot out all my thoughts and ideas, forming an essay that I am happy with.
The components of my writing process, can vary, but at the same time are very specific. What I mean by this is, it takes me a little while to actually sit down and begin my essay. What varies is the things that I did before starting to write. It can be anything to listening to music, eating, drinking, calling my close friends, doing an errand, etc. Then when my body and mind feel empowered to sit down and write I sit down at my computer and start putting down what comes to mind for my topic. Usually I have research papers that are easily accessible while doing so and I put them in a particular order before even starting my paper. Next, is when I just can’t think anymore and have had enough with writing for this paper. So I go again to doing the things that I did before I even started writing. I go back and forth doing this for many, many hours; until I take that long stride at the end and finally complete my paper.

"Writing style." Wikipedia, The Free Encyclopedia. 10 Sep 2009, 18:19 UTC. 10 Sep 2009 <http://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Writing_style&oldid=313044136>.

The Elbow Bartholomae Debate

Bartholomae disagrees with Peter Elbow's approach to writing; but, he is also very open minded to hearing his approach to things. Bartholomae approaches this debate by giving his personal views which for the most part are contradictory with Elbow's and then starts to throw out questions for the reader and himself to ponder about approaching writing.

One thing that Bartholomae believes is that academic writing is what truly is learnt at an academy, that this is key to what the instructors are there to do. He thinks that without teachers, writing is impossible. This all contradicts what Elbow has said. He said that he suffered the most when it was all done for the instructors. That writing isn't about teachers and is done the best when writing becomes about you and not what the professor is looking for or a due date.

Bartholomae continues on with saying that part of writing is learning how to critique and that this is practice to improve ones own writing. Part of critiquing he says is using that red pen and making corrections and showing perspective on writing; that this is how to better oneself when it does come to writing. Bartholomae says that we don't only learn more from perspective taking, but also from "literary devices" that are of course, taught by teachers. He believes that writing is a process and part of this is being taught the art of writing. He thinks that people learning to write should be able to learn to write in a way that makes them sound elegant, smart, independent,.. and the only way to go about this is to really be taught the style of writing.

The points that Bartholomae argues contradict what Elbow believes and what Elbow has really learnt from himself over time. But, everyone can have their own way of approaching writing. Elbow and Bartholomae clearly have two different personalities. These two different personality traits can be seen as someone who is more abstract and someone who is more contructive and does things in a more outlined, in the box type of fashion.

Questions

1. How does Bartholomae approach a writing task?
2. Can there be more than one right way to write?

My Experiences With Writing

In my past I have really struggled with writing. More specifically what I struggle with is putting all my thoughts on a piece of paper. My head generates thoughts at such a fast speed that I feel like I have so much to write down. Usually when this happens I write down my thoughts at such a fast speed that what I write down makes sense to me, but does not usually make sense to people reading what I have written. I have realized that I really need to read through, edit, and organize my writing several times before I turn it in.
The times when I really enjoyed writing was when I wrote and was the editor for the entertainment section of my school newspaper. I loved reading many other articles and finding out many things in the entertainment world and then putting what I learned into my own piece of work to share with my school. I loved the connection between the world of entertainment to sharing my own thoughts of how I viewed the entertainment world.

Summary on Peter Elbow

Peter Elbow starts his interview by speaking about his past experiences with writing. At college he was able to put together pieces on what the teacher wanted to hear. But, when it came time for him to put together his own writing pieces at graduate school he suffered to the point of actually leaving that school. He had such a hard time with putting together pieces and would go back and forth with scratching out so much of his writing and really didn't know how to move forward. This, ironically, is what got him so interested in writing. What he calls his "failure" to write is what led him to being an english professor at a University.

So how did he go from failure to success? He learned many strategies which changed his outlook on writing forever. One of the things he did was writing many thoughts he had on sheets of paper on when he first got stuck expressing his thoughts through writing, and trying to figure out how this exactly happened. He ended up having so many notes that he eventually comprised them into one of his books to help others try and write well.

He then goes on to speak about one of the more important lessons he learned. He calls this strategy "making a mess". For him this means that he does not start off with organizing his thoughts through an outline, but rather writing down whatever comes to mind and see where this takes him. He had trouble trying to put his thoughts together into an organized outline and then to take the outline and form this into an essay. So, he learned that the best way for him to write is to basically just write. To be able to get all of his thoughts down onto a sheet of paper; and then to go back to that sheet of paper and edit his writing.

When he did start editing his "mess" this was the step he labels, "creating and critizing". This is where he really took the time going back to his writing and truly editing and critizing his work. It was easier for him to have all of his thoughts on paper and then to later go over his work. With this, another useful tip he discovered was that whenever he had an idea for a big essay he would write down his idea. He called this idea, "sowing early seeds". He would do this several times, so that he had many thoughts written down which he then could branch into a paper. He found the best times for him to formulate his thoughts was when he was eating, showering, or doing simple tasks on his own time, where he had the time to think.

Questions

1. How did Peter Elbow start his transition of leaving graduate school to realizing he really wanted to improve his writing?
2. Was there one person that really put Peter in the right path to writing success?